My Villain Arc

Ah let’s go over a recap of the last couple days.  Saturday: stopped by McDonald’s in the morning to buy violet a hot chocolate on the way to her house.  Had a 10 minute conversation with her dad about rugby, jobs, and their boat.  Spent the day watching Star Wars in bed.  Went home sadly but there it is. I should’ve stayed longer.  Should’ve fucking stayed but no.  I had to leave like a dumbass. Sunday (Today): smoked some meat with my dad, ran out to buy a lot of supplies for a dinner party.  Came home, and while I was lying in bed.  iMessage: (Violet) I think we should break up.  Now what the absolute fuck is going on.  Okay so I hit the message app and she says that she’s not ready for a relationship.  That she dragged it out this long to see if she was ready and decided no.  After I spent so much time being with her and so much energy, she says she’s not ready.  What kind of fucking fuck is this? Literally what the absolute fuck.  It’s not possible that’s the case.  We were literally talking about the future together on Saturday while cuddling the whole day.  Must be another person.    I planned the best dates, always checked up on her, brought her food, snacks, anything she wanted.  Met her parents and got them to like me.  I honestly couldn’t have done anymore yet she decided to pull this.  I’m honestly just still in shock.  After she called me,  immediately called Natalie to ask her what to do.  Then I walked to festival walk, took the train to TST, walked to the harbor front, and sat looking at the skyline sipping on a cider wondering how and why the fuck she would want to break up with me.  My sister has been remarkably good about this, covering for me with my parents.  I’m still just in shock.  I’m angry and upset at the same time.  I know it was only a short while but I was ready to be in this for the long run.  I even told all my friends about her because I was sure it was going somewhere.  Now I just feel like a fucking idiot, seriously questioning my life choices.  She honestly meant too much to me and I let her in too much.  It took a lot to put my trust into her. Putting trust in any woman has been hard on me since my mom and her doing this to me may be the last time.  I just can’t trust anyone anymore and I’m just lost.  I need some help. I’m gonna sleep now and see how it goes tomorrow.  I’ll update you ASAP.  Sorry about that.

EDIT FROM 3 YEARS IN THE FUTURE:

Okay, look. I know this post is weird looking back on it now.  Sue me.  It was my first girlfriend and I though that life was over.  I've grown as a person now and realized how much of an idiot I was for letting this get to me.